I didn’t want to do it, but it’s a slow news day…so the topic is Baker Mayfield twice in a row. I promise I’ll be calling out people that say dumb things about other teams. But until then…Colin Cowherd is in love with Baker Mayfield
It’s quite obvious, really. Colin cannot get Baker Mayfield out of his mind. Like a grade-schooler treating his crush like shit just to get attention from them. Colin Cowherd wants to take Baker Mayfield to Homecoming and get fresh with him at the afterparty.
Baker Mayfield has moved out of his home in FirstEnergy Stadium, and into Colin Cowherd’s head…and heart.
Chapter 1. Love At First Sight
Let me tell you the sad tale off a one-sided love story.
This was the beginning of your lust for the bad boy at school.
You fell in love with the kid that ran from the police. A classic story.
According to Good Housekeeping “Girls possess a range of traits, like rebelliousness,” explains Robyn McKay, Ph.D., psychologist, and co-author of Smart Girls in the 21st Century. “These traits are typically repressed during childhood, as females are socialized to be compliant and agreeable. If a girl’s inner life is unexpressed, she may be drawn to a bad boy as a way of vicariously expressing her own inner rebel.“
Your inner rebel wants to show…but you know it’s no good for you.
Chapter 2.Hat On Backwards Karma
This is the stage where you really don’t want anyone to know about your infatuation with the bad kid in class, but you can’t stop thinking about him…so you blurt out the dumbest thing that’s ever come out of a human mouth, just so you can say his name.
Then you bring up your current boyfriend, Tom. Tom’s the good guy in school. Tom wins all of the trophies and everyone’s parents love Tom. You go as far as you can go to cover up your heavily increasing lust by saying …
“tOm wOuLdN’t WeAr HiS hAt BaCkWaRdS”
Your best friend, Joy, sees it but she doesn’t say anything.
Chapter 3. “I Hate Being Labeled A Hater”
The other kids are starting to notice that you can’t stop talking about bad boy Baker. You don’t think he can ever be better, but you still can’t stop thinking about him. Tom doesn’t know yet.
Chapter 4. tOm nEvEr SaW a UfO
You woke up this morning and immediately checked Baker’s Twitter to see what cute and funny things he said today…just like every other day.
But today was different.
Today, you find out that Baker believes in UFOs and aliens.
You jump on social media to post a video telling all of your followers how crazy Baker is so you can continue to cover your feelings up.
Not so secretly, you are totally into it. You blabbered on about it for about 12-13 minutes at least twice today.
You shout out “Tom has never seen a UFO.”
Tom is beginning to notice a pattern.
Chapter 5. Tom’s Response
Tom notices that you can’t stop talking about Baker. Tom is beginning to change so he doesn’t lose you. He tells you “Hey! I have seen aliens too!” because he can see that you are actually into it.
You are showing your jealousy of Baker’s girlfriend (wife), Emily. You’ll never be as pretty as she is, and you begin to realize that you can never have Baker.
You write in your diary that you love Tom and he’s always been wonderful to convince yourself that you don’t love the one you can’t have…But these feelings you have in your pants when you hear Baker’s name continue to haunt you.
We all know you covered several pages of that same diary with Baker’s name. Every time you open to those pages, your heart beats a bit faster. You begin to sweat.
You realize that you NEED Baker to survive in this world.
To Be Continued…
Will Tom be able to hold onto Colin? Will Colin do something crazy to get Baker to notice him?
Hit subscribe to find out.
“The testosterone that makes them bold, adventurous, and rebellious will make them less willing to follow the rules of dating, relationships, and matrimony,” Dr. Cunningham adds. Instead, “they’re into conquests and looking for fresh kills.”
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