Ryan is an unapologetic Cleveland sports fan, but will not hesitate to call out other Cleveland fans when they get out of control.
Seabreast has had the privilege of traveling for work. He spent the majority of the 80s selling mannequins in Cuba. In the early ’90s, he had some success developing heroin for moose milk farmers in Cambodia. From 2001-2008, he ran an illegal underground Pai Gow ring in Chongqing, China. He is currently developing a plan to open an erotic bakery that specializes in funeral cakes in Paris.
Enjoys polka music, doin’ it, and making people cry.
Hates Pittsburgh, not doin it’, and you.
Contributor at Idiotville Podcast.
On a balmy late-spring night in South Texas, a rancher rides a formerly wild stallion that he personally broke around the perimeter of his property. A storm is brewing on the horizon. The rancher can feel it in his bones. Just then, he hears a sound coming from a nearby bush. He trots the stallion over for a closer look while brandishing his trusty Colt 45. Suddenly, the stallion jumps up on his back legs tossing the rancher to the ground. It was a rattlesnake. Not one to be spooked, the stallion attacks the rattlesnake with a blow that would have been lethal to most mortal creatures. He is met with the toxic and painful bite of the rattlesnake. Suddenly, lightning strikes the scuffling creatures and creates a fireball that could be seen from miles away. The rancher runs to the fireball and witnesses a miracle. A baby, completely unharmed, lays helplessly where the stallion and the rattlesnake met their end.
“¡Dios mío! ¡Es la tormenta de fuego de El Dorado!” A woman screams behind him. Through her rapturous sobbing, the rancher can hear several others behind her. He turns to see hundreds. They’re here for the birth of the promised one. The one that will end all wars and bring peace to the world. Born in fire, his legend had been passed down through the generations, and here, on this ranch, the prophecy had been realized. He was The Firestorm of El Dorado.
Knowing that the child must be protected from the enthralled crowd, the rancher runs with the baby to his pickup truck and takes him to the nearest town. While there, he meets a young couple hoping for a baby of their own.
“Please take this baby. He is the promised one, but he may never know of the circumstances of his birth. They call him The Firestorm of El Dorado, but I have bestowed upon him a name that will serve as a reminder of his origin. See, my name is Brent. I was riding my stallion Liberty when we happened upon the child. Brent and Liberty. The happiest times of my life.”
This couple took Brent N. Liberty and moved to Northwest Pennsylvania, where Brent gained too much weight and got into podcasting.